So if you’re on an hour wait at the Cheesecake, wander over to the bookstore and check out this issue of Dog Fancy to take a look at the first rapper ever featured in the magazine. Actually, I don’t know if I am, but it sounds good. Let’s narrow it down to first ever rapper that worked at an Animal Hospital and recorded several songs about our furry friends who still maintains a healthy appetite for hardcore battle rap and sample-driven production.

Thanks to the writer, Cherie Langlois for mentioning these dog-friendly tracks:

http://www.youtube.com/pterolab#p/u/6/dr1-WD-mUOI

 http://www.youtube.com/pterolab#p/a/u/2/o-OLCiJSyoA

http://www.youtube.com/pterolab#p/u/14/1Q97cyJaSyg

THE LETTER

THE REASON

I had to rep for my dog! I got into this big fight with a cop regarding the leash law and having control of my dog. He told me I was playing “childish games” with him, and everytime he left I’d let Logan off the leash. Come on cop, get a life. Fight real crime. I pleaded my case and how harmless Logan is and before I could say much he said “I know more about dogs than you’ll evvvver know, a mastiff could come over the hill and maul your son! How would you like that? You people never pick up the dog shit and ruin it for everybody.” I laughed at him, and dangled a bag of Logan dung, eye-level with him in his cruiser.  I laughed harder when he asked for my information and couldn’t spell my street name. I offered him my ID to speed shit up. He fined me, but couldn’t tell me how much the fine was for so I really couldn’t respect that. In a blatant act of fearlessness, heroism, and disrespect, Logan threw himself off the door of the cop car several times, prompting the cop to take down Logan’s information. He didn’t even know what type of dog he was! A fucking LAB man, most common breed in America. The guy just finished telling me he was commander of the K-9 patrol and knows more about dogs than I’ll ever know. Come on! I did a little research on him and discovered he wasn’t who he said he was, however he’s still a “SGT.” so whatever. He told me that I’m lucky his cruiser is old and needs a paint job. Logan was just saying what up.

I guess I should pay this fine right? $25 isn’t worth going to court over.

YOU GOTTA LOVE HIM!

I’m the biggest original Star Wars trilogy fan you’ll meet (well the biggest one that raps for a living). The fact that I even had to distinguish between the old ones and the new ones in my opening sentence tells you I take it seriously. Things I can not take seriously are these new collaborations between Lucasfilm and any clothing company with enough paper to license his empire. Possibly on a real subconcious level, some of what’s fueling my contempt for these designs is that they’re marketed towards “hip-hop.” Fitted caps and sneakers. Tracksuits. I can’t get over it, and maybe that’s the underlying reason because I almost sold Logan to get Xavier the Star Wars Pottery Barn bedroom set…and he doesn’t know Tatooine’s Luke Skywalker from Miami’s Luke Skywalker. Pottery Barn ain’t hip-hop. The latest culprits certainly are or at least pretend to be (Marc Ecko, Adidas, New Era). Hmmm below, witness some truly awful clothing. I will say this, contrary to the point of the post, the last image here captures some really outstanding kicks, and I want them.

HANDS DOWN THE MOST RIDICULOUS ITEM I HAVE EVER SEEN

OK, SCRATCH THAT. THIS IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS.

MAYBE FOR A SCARECROW BUT THAT'S IT

ALMOST PASSES AS A REGULAR JACKET, IF YOU IGNORE THE PLASTIC BLAST SHIELD SEWN INTO THE HOOD

KNOCK IT OFF

There’s always an exception though, so I will say this…I’d slaughter a tribe of Jawas for these…these were done well:

A+++ I'D OPEN A TAUN-TAUN FOR THESE (NO BEASTO)